Two-Headed Monster

The Bolden Picks: Week 2

#7 Brooklyn Goldsmiths (1-0) vs #12 TWSS (0-1)

The Bengals pass defense shut down Kyle Orton last week, except for... well, you know. Can the do the same against Aaron Rodgers at Lambeau? Almost certainly not- I expect plenty of A-bombs from the real A-Rod. In the same game, Ochocinco promises to do the Lambeau Leap if he gets in the end-zone... here's hoping he will. The third player the Goldsmiths have going, Cedric Benson, will likely have another unspectacular game thanks to the Bengals' patented 1st down: take a sack, 2nd down: HB draw for two yards, 3rd down: complete pass three yards short of the marker, 4th down: punt offense. Other Goldsmiths will have to break out in week two; Matt Forte goes against the Steelers and Ronnie Brown against the Colts. At least one of the two should come back to where they should be playing after terrible week one performances. I like Visanthe Shiancoe's odds of scoring as he goes against the Lions.

TWSS almost came away with a win in week one and is the Yahoo favorite this time around. David Garrard again gets the start- he struggled last week in his already-limited role in the Jags' offense. Yahoo is predicting big things for Darren Sproles thanks to his late TD last week... PROTIP to Yahoo's experts: touchdowns are largely random, stop weighting your predictions based so heavily on what happened last week. 

Yahoo pick: TWSS -5.5

The Bolden Pick: Goldsmiths go to 2-0 on the strength of their NFC North all-stars.

#1 Beer to the Dean (1-0) vs #11 Ja (0-1)

Beer to the Dean lives and dies (mostly lives, I guess) by its three-headed monster running back attack- it will be a big challenge for half of the two-headed monster. The best match-up on paper is AP against the Lions... of course, if it's a blowout, I would imagine the bulk of the carries would shift to Chester Taylor. Look for a bigger game from Chris Johnson this time around. Defenses are unpredictable, but expecting a nice bonus from Green Bay (hosting Cincinnati) isn't asking too much.

Ja will depend once again on the duo from the Chargers, Rivers and LT who face Baltimore. Rivers played well last week, and LT did well enough, but the latter may still be injured come Sunday. Ja's best options as replacements aren't promising...Steve Breaston, I guess? This game is proof positive of the value of depth...nobody's lineups are all that different, but the benches are where the separation takes place. 

Yahoo pick: Beer to the Dean -17

The Bolden Pick: Beer to the Dean will roll, and probably beat Yahoo's margin.

#13 Taking the Reins (0-1) vs #3 Eat Gilberts Grapes (1-0)

TTR didn't put up many points in week one, and the forecast for week two isn't promising. Their #2 running back, Marshawn Lynch, remains suspended, and now Donovan McNabb is looking iffy for playing on Sunday. If he can't go, Trent Edwards will go; against Tampa, this isn't all that terrible. Edgerrin James never seems to do anything when he gets starts, and unfortunately for TTR, he is the best option at RB2 right now. Even last week when the Seahawks destroyed the Rams, James never got much accomplished. Brian Westbrook is the only hope for TTR this week- he got things done in the rushing and receiving game last week and looks to actually be healthy.

EGG faces the question of whether to start Pierre Thomas (out in week one) or Vincent Jackson in the flex; not a bad position to be in. Despite passing the torch to Ray Rice in the starting job, Willis McGahee was an integral part of Baltimore's red zone offense and should get chances at the end zone this week at San Diego. Tony Homo is against the Giants' D and is the one starter I'd be a bit concerned over, but EGG has Matthew Stafford warming the bench at QB- no thanks. EGG shouldn't have any problems this week scoring 90+ points.

Yahoo pick: Eat Gilberts Grapes -20

The Bolden Pick: Lamentably, Eat Gilberts Grapes goes 2-0.

#10 City of Champions (1-0) vs #8 Soak-n-Suds

I got a lot of flak from Jo last week in response to his #10 ranking- here's his chance to show that last week wasn't a fluke, or more specifically, for Drew Brees and Jeremy Shockey to come back down to earth against a much better defense in Philadelphia. One player who should come back with a bigger week is DeAngelo Williams, but I don't like CoC's other plays at RB so much in Ahmad Bradshaw or Derrick Ward. Playing anyone's D against STL is never a bad option- Jo gets to this week with the Redskins.

SNS gets some help with the injury to Anthony Gonzalez, as Reggie Wayne is now far-and-away Peyton Manning's best (only?) viable option at WR. SNS's other star WR, Andre Johnson, played poorly in week one and has to face another tough defense when the Texans take on the Titans- he should still improve on last week's performance. Leon Washington and Darren McFadden, as always, are wildcards and nearly impossible to predict.

Yahoo pick: EVEN

The Bolden Pick: Won't be so close, Soak-n-Suds goes to 2-0.

#4 Megatron (0-1) vs #9 SINS Bolden (0-1)

Two teams with high expectations and tough luck in week one go at it in this one. Megatron was glad to see Tom Brady seemingly back in full form; this week he plays a tougher defense with the Jets, but should still be one of the top QBs in the league. Michael Turner is another player on the seeminlgy endless list of running backs who disappointed last week and need to come back this time; he and Roddy White go against Carolina. Megatron is giving Percy Harvin a start- quite an indictment on the Lions. 

SINS Bolden was hurt by the injury to Anthony Gonzalez (insert some Avon Lake joke here). His replacement, Mario Manningham, had the first adequate game of his career last week and is a bit of a stretch to get a start against Dallas. Ray Rice got more chances than the other RBs on Baltimore last week, but with McGahee cannibalizing his points in the red zone, he has to be considered questionable at some point this season as well. Nobody had high expectations for Larry Johnson this season, but he underperformed even those- he should do better by default against Oakland.

Yahoo pick: Megatron -5

The Bolden Pick: Megatron- too many question marks around the SINS lineup this week.

#5 Suit Killers (0-1) vs #14 Bad Newz Kennels (0-1)

When you play Kurt Warner, you have to expect a couple dragons will end up caught by the other team. The Cardinals still need to pass all the time to win, so the Suit Killers hope he and Larry Fitzgerald will pick apart the Jags- I'm guessing they will. Jonathan Stewart got a decent number of looks in week one, and may not repeat, but is still a good play at RB. Steve Slaton looked bad in week one (sound familiar?) and faces another tough defense with the Titans, but one game does not a trend make. The Suit Killers get to play the Vikings' D against the Lions- God help us all.

BNK looked like they might get a win after a big game from Big Ben in week one. The Bears' pass defense is terrible, but the Steelers' running game should be on track enough that they won't depend on their QB this time around. Still, not a bad match-up (same goes for Hines Ward.) Clinton Portis plays St. Louis and Yahoo is predicting over 18 points- not so fast there, Yahoo. Le'Ron McClain is a dangerous start- he might get goal line carries, or he might just block. 

Yahoo pick: Bad Newz Kennels -3 (yes, you read that correctly)

The Bolden Pick: I'm hardly ready to accept the chance that BNK will beat my preseason #2, at least not yet... going with the safe pick in the Suit Killers.

===Game of the Week===

#2 Vandelay Industries (1-0) vs #6 Roarin' Rob (1-0)

Vandelay's running backs, Marion Barber, Kevin Smith, and Ryan Grant, each face better than average defenses (NYG, MIN, CIN, respectively), but each has enough of a role in their offense that they shouldn't be shut down. Matt Hasselbeck played decent last week, but it was against the Rams; almost any team is a step up in difficulty from there. The Jets' D was great last week against Houston- they also have a tougher challenge in store against the Patriots.

Roarin' Rob outscored everyone last week, it's more of an uphill road this week. Jay Cutler played terribly against the Packers, and faces a much tougher defense in the Steelers this week. Bernard Berrian barely played last week and should get the chance to put up some points against the Lions. Rob is going with the Philly D against the high-scoring Saints... expect at least a big drop-off from their performance last week. Rob gets help from the Bills, who will give Fred Jackson plenty of carries in the continued absence of Marshawn Lynch.

Yahoo pick: Roarin' Rob -4.5

The Bolden Pick: Rational thought says go with Rob, but my instinct says fade him and go with Vandelay.

Week 1 Power Rankings

1. Beer to the Dean (1-0) (Peter Schaffer)

Despite putting up 100+ points in week one, BD didn't get solid performances from most of the lineup; it took a huge game from Adrian Peterson to lock up victory against the Suit Killers, but it's unlikely that players like Eddie Royal, Steven Jackson, and Chris Johnson will continue to be shut down to the extent they were on opening day. Still the team to beat, and next wee they play last year's victims of a thorough thrashing in the semifinals in Ja.

2. Vandelay Industries (1-0) (Jamie McCourt)

The newest team in the land wasted little time in climbing near the top of the prestigious power rankings; Vandelay barely edged out SINS Bolden, but had amongst the most consistent distribution of scorers in the league. No huge performances, but nobody (except for Matt Schaub) disappointed. Getting Ryan Grant for Darren McFadden and Beanie Wells is a trade I like for both teams, but in the short-term it will look better for VI. Next week they'll see if Roarin' Rob is for real.

3. Eat Gilberts Grapes (1-0) (Brad Gilbert)

The other expansion team isn't far behind, as Gilbert's squad was the only team to beat a 90+ point scoring opponent in week one. Six players reached double digits, an impressive feat in a fourteen-team league.

4. Megatron (0-1) (Mike Jackson)

The highest ranking losing team, Megatron would have beaten nine other teams this week, but dropped to EGG despite their 97 points. Tom Brady had a good outing in his return to the Patriots, while Julius Jones added almost 20 points (albeit against the Rams.) John Carlson also had a big game against St. Louis, scoring over 21 points; needless to say, this isn't likely to continue. Megatron will need Michael Turner and Roddy White to improve; while the Falcons won, neither had impressive 2009 debuts.

5. Suit Killers (0-1) (Dan Haubert)

Not a pretty first try for Suit Killers- they scored 80 points, but Jonathan Stewart was held to under 7 points, while Steve Slaton and Felix Jones barely combined for five points. Kurt Warner's performance is probably the biggest area of concern- the others should bounce back, but Warner has always been inconsistent from season-to-season. Suit Killers should bounce back to their winning ways when they play Bad Newz Kennels next week.

6. Roarin' Rob (1-0) ($10) (Rob Green)

How it pains me to rank Rob in the top half of the league...despite knowing there was a good chance Bernard Berrian would not play (and he did not,) Skittles stubbornly held his ground, and despite having no contribution from the injured Berrian, scored 123 points, earning him the week one cash prize of $10. Why are they still ranked just #6? For one, 29 points came from their defense, and 20 more came from Fred Jackson, whose role will be reduced when Marshawn Lynch returns. Rob is also ranked behind two losing teams because of his notable track record... in good faith I can't rank a team I know will miss the playoffs too high in the power rankings. 

7. Brooklyn Goldsmiths (1-0) (Joshua Bolden)

79 points was the lowest winning total of the week, but the win game with no contribution from Matt Forte, Visanthe Shiancoe, or Ronnie Brown, all of whom will play better in the coming weeks. Cedric Benson, the dean of the franchise (the only player to be on my team all three years) looked like the Cedric Benson of old until the fourth quarter against the Broncos; if he wants to hang onto his W/R spot, he'll have to be more consistent. Next week it's the slightly surprising TWSS for the Goldsmiths... I smell 2-0.

8. Soak-n-Suds (1-0) (Joe Curtin)

A nice first game for SNS, who made a bold trade to get Beanie Wells and Darren McFadden. Neither did much in week one, but it builds good depth for this year and especially in the future. Strong games all around for the SNS players, except Andre Johnson, who was shut down by the Jets.

9. SINS Bolden (0-1) (Terrence Freeman)

A valiant effort in week one, as SINS scored enough to beat a couple teams, but it fell just short to Vandelay, losing 88-84. Despite the huge day for the Saints offense, Lance Moore did almost nothing, while Larry Johnson looked terrible for the Chiefs. Knowshown Moreno saw limited carries in his debut- SINS should keep him on the bench until it is clear what his role will be this season.

10. City of Champions (1-0) (John Schafer)

Lowest rated winner in spite of a convincing 94-59 win over TTR. If the two Saints (Brees and Shockey) on the team played at their projected levels, CoC was just a 69-point team in week one. The three receivers they started, Anquan Boldin, Chris Henry, and Josh Morgan combined for about seven points, while the Dallas D was non-existent. CoC could compete this year, but they won't climb in the power rankings until they get better play out of more of the team.

11. Ja (0-1) (Jason Schafer)

Narrowly defeated by the Goldsmiths (79-74,) Ja struggled , with every player on the team except Greg Jennings putting up worse-than-projected numbers in week one. Lee Evans will do better than he did last night, but LenDale White and Donald Brown, both still backups, are risky starts at the RB position week in and week out. Ja will need to work on depth at running back if they are to get to the playoffs again this year. 

12. TWSS (0-1) (Mike Lorentz)

The consensus worst team of the year surprisingly came very close to winning in week one, putting up almost 82 points on the strength of big games from Santonio Holmes, Darren Sproles, and Tim Hightower. If David Garrard or Steve Smith did anything at all in week one, TWSS would be 1-0 right now. Maybe they won't be the pushovers we thought?

13. Taking the Reins (0-1) (Joe Otten)

The lowest scoring team in week one, TTR never stood a chance, with their best RB suspended and five starters scoring under five points. They are better than a sub-60 point team, but unless the receiving situation improves markedly, this team could be heading for a dire season.

14. Bad Newz Kennels (0-1) (Mike Manos)

Back in their comfort zone in the cellar, BNK actually stood a chance earlier in the week, as their D put up 14 points and Roethlisberger had a strong game on Thursday. However, nobody else did much on Sunday; Jerricho Cotchery is a viable option going forward, but Le'Ron McClain (despite 10 points) only carried the ball six times, and no other player went into double digits. BNK is much better than last year, but the onus is on them to show they're not the worst team in the league once again.

The Bolden Picks record: (6-1)

Cash standings: Roarin' Rob - $10

Highest score of the year: Roarin' Rob, 122.68

Stat of the week: 

Rob's first half record: .867

Rob's second half record: .357

The Bolden Picks, Week One

(10) Brooklyn Goldsmiths vs. (7) Ja

Two Goldsmiths are amongst the most reviled players in fantasyland- Chad Ochocinco after his miserable season last year, and Cedric Benson for basically his entire career. Both have a shot to redeem themselves this year, and in week one they will have an easy go of it as they face on of the league's worst defenses in the Broncos, in Cincinnati. At least one should get on the board. Rodgers dominated in the preseason- whatever that means- and faces the Bears' terrible pass defense to start things out. On the other side of the ball in that game, Matt Forté faces the similarly unimpressive Pack D. Ja lives and dies with the Chargers- they go against the Raiders, one of the worst defenses in the league last year, but in large part due to being on the field all the time. Greg Jennings will do well with the aforementioned Packers-Bears matchup, but LenDale White at RB2 has to face the Squealers tonight, and the W/R slot is filled with Donald Brown, whose role in the Indy offense remains to be seen.

The Bolden pick: The unspectacular but solid Goldsmiths start the season out right.

(8) Taking the Reins vs (12) City of Champions

TTR has a tough go of it in week one- every starter is facing a team that won at least eight games last year. There are also questions about the health of many TTR players; Antonio Bryant and Brian Westbrook never even appeared in preseason games, so their workloads could be light. With Tampa's rotation at running back, it remains to be seen whether Earnest Graham is a viable RB2. CoC on the other hand faces an easier set of games; DeAngelo Williams is the only skill player going against a playoff team from 2008. While a couple starters on this team are in situations where their workload week-to-week will very (Chris Henry, Derrick Ward) for week one they should hold off TTR and come back with a win.

The Bolden Pick: Tough match-ups and injuries for TTR sink their hopes on week one- City of Champions prevails.

(3) Megatron vs (6) Eat Gilberts Grapes

Some of Megatron's opposing defenses this week are the stuff dreams are made of- the Saints, Lions, and Rams were all bottom-10 squads last year, and little-improved since then. Tom Brady makes his first start in a year; I guess the rumors of a leg amputation that were swirling about eight months ago proved to be a bit overblown. Megatron should put up big points this week, and are the Yahoo picks to win the first weekly prize. They face off against EGG, a solid team in their own right with decent match-ups as well- Randy Moss is the only skill player going up against an above-average defense, and belongs to Buffalo. EGG's hopes hinge on Pierre Thomas, who faces not only cannibalization from Reggie Bush and Mike Bell, but his own injury issues as well. 

The Bolden Pick: Megatron rolls to a win in week one.

(11) Roarin' Rob vs (13) Bad Newz Kennels

It's a new season for two of last year's more infamous failures- Rob started strong (as per usual) but faded late, while Manos never stood a chance from the moment Tom Brady's knee shattered. Rob lineup reeks of homerism- Jay Cutler goes at QB and Bernard Berrian (Skittles must think he is still a Bear) at WR. Their individual skills notwithstanding, Cutler has a very weak set of wide receivers, while you-know-who will be lobbing INTs in the general direction of Berrian; too bad tackles don't count for any points in this league. Skittles' other receiver, Donald Driver, is older than the Beer Dean. He does have three running backs going, and they should hold up their end of the lineup well enough. BNK seeks to at least tie last year's win total, but it may not happen so soon. Despite what Joja might have you believe, Roethlisberger is nothing more than an average NFL QB, and it sounds like he could use some PROTIPs from them when it comes to getting laid. I like the receivers on this team, and for the time being Clinton Portis should put up good numbers. LeRon McClain is a risky start though- regardless of last season, he's a fullback now, and in the contemporary NFL that means you might not touch the ball all game.

The Bolden Pick: Roarin' Rob starts out with a win...sound familiar?

(5) SINS Bolden vs (4) Vandelay Industries

Two of the better teams go at it in this one- both teams have good depth and won't depend heavily on any one player throughout the season. For SINS, Peyton Manning (a couple of games last year excepted) won't disappoint you, Ray Rice and Jamal Lewis (at least for now) will get carries, and each of the receivers will get plenty of looks. Yahoo is predicting little playing time for the impossibly-ghetto-named Knowshon Moreno, but they don't realize what I do from watching too many Bengals games; I would always go long a rookie playing against them. Vandelay should have completed its trade for Ryan Grant by this time, giving them a strong 3 RB attack, and each one will be going against subpar defenses in week one. Schaub will face the tough Jets D, but Vandelay has a hedge in starting the Jets D. 

The Bolden Pick: Vandelay wins its first R-time game.

(14) TWSS vs. (9) Soak-n-Suds

As of now, TWSS has some lineup changes to be made- Matt Cassel is questionable for Sunday; if he cannot go, TWSS will have to put in David Garrard, as weak of a fantasy starter as you find at QB. TJ Duckett, inexplicably taken in the seventh round in spite of his recently-released status is still listed at W/R; he will probably be replaced with Darren Sproles, who is a big question mark at this stage of the season. Brandon Jacobs, Steve Smith, and Antonio Gates are the core of this team, and there are no issues with them, but they alone cannot handle the scoring. Soak-n-Suds will have picked up Darren McFadden and Beanie Wells by Sunday. I really like Run-DMC this season, and contemplated taking him over Ronnie Brown at pick #6 in the draft. Joe C is a big OSU homer, and that assuredly played into his decision to pick up Wells, but considering he is backing up a running back who gained only 2.9 yards a carry last year, he could be starting material for SNS soon enough. SNS is deep enough at wideout that this game should be a cakewalk. 

The Bolden Pick: Personnel issues deplete the already-weak TWSS; Soak-n-Suds picks up an easy win.

---Game of the Week---

(2) Suit Killers vs. (1) Beer to the Dean

Both teams have been the league's elite for the past two seasons, and no reason to believe it won't continue again. I had Beer to the Dean as my top ranked team on the strength of their running game- while Chris Johnson has to go against Pittsburgh tonight, Steven Jackson and Adrian Peterson won't have such a tough time of it, as they face Seattle and Cleveland, respectively. Eddie Royal will almost certainly get more chances than any other receiver for Denver this week, and the Matt Ryan to Tony Gonzalez combo could be a good way to double up on points. Beer Dean still has no kicker, but no position is more interchangeable, and no point distribution more random. The Suit Killers are going with last year's winning combination of Warner to Fitzgerald, and will need their dragons if they are to beat BD this time. Jonathan Stewart was limited all summer with injuries- he is practicing now, but could see limited playing time on Sunday. Yahoo is seriously underrating Felix Jones, predicting less than 6 points for him this week; indications are that the Cowboys are going to expand the role of the running game in their offense this season, and Jones is a critical component of it. 

The Bolden Pick: I sort of have to pick Beer Dean here, for the sake of logic, but either team could put up big points this week.

Preseason Power Rankings

1. Beer to the Dean (Peter Schaffer)

Last year's champs were the only team in the league that could ignore running backs early in the draft, and were able to grab producers at other spots early on. Matt Ryan has a year of experience under his belt and the Falcons added one of the best tight ends of our generation to his arsenal- he should put up top ten numbers this year. With three bona fide elite running backs in the lineup each week, Beer Dean is once again the team to beat. The only weakness is wideout- Eddie Royal could benefit from the Brandon Marshall drama, but counting on Derrick Mason for starting WR numbers is risky.

Celebrity doppelgänger: Joel Robinson from Mystery Science Theater 3000

2. Suit Killers (Dan Haubert)

Last year, no team dominated during the middle stretch of the regular season like the Suit Killers, and they will have a similar look in 2009. Kurt Warner will pray that Jesus Christ gives him the strength to unleash an uncountable number of dragons as he did last year, while Dwayne Bowe and Larry Fitzgerald make up the best wide receiving tandem in the league this side of Megatron. The running game depends on Steve Slaton for now, as Jonathan Stewart is still recovering from injury and it remains to be seen how the Cowboys will utilize Felix Jones. Rashard Mendenhall could be a great sleeper if he stays healthy this year and pushes Willie Parker for carries. If Warner fails, the Suit Killers have perhaps the best backup in the game on the bench, Carson Palmer, a great value pick in the seventh round.

Celebrity doppelgänger: Mats Sundin (when he was on the Nordiques)

3. Megatron (Mike Jackson)

Megatron or the Suit Killers both make strong cases to be the preseason top pick. Of the three elite squads, Megatron certainly has the best QB of the bunch in Tom Brady. What's more, the wideouts are the real strength of the team, with Roddy White and Calvin Johnson starting, and Braylon Edwards a great #3. Megatron went for sleepers at wideout as well, taking rookies Darrius Heyward-Bey and Percy Harvin. Reggie Bush is not an ideal #2 running back, but there are worse players starting in the spot in this league. 

Celebrity doppelgänger: Macauley Culkin 

4. Vandelay Industries (Jamie McCourt)

This expansion team is already near the upper echelon of R-Time, after a solid draft that left VI with no significant holes. Schaub is good pick for QB, and the team has tremendous depth at RB. I love Darren McFadden, even at the fifteenth overall pick. The receiving game is a bit more shallow, but Ted Ginn or Steve Smith (the other Steve Smith) won't be too terrible on the bye weeks. A true title contender, this team should win at least eight games and be in the thick of the end-of-season trophy races.

Celebrity doppelgänger: Glenn Beck

5. SINS Bolden (Terrence Freeman)

Technical errors may have stymied this team's draft strategy (it's unlikely that they really wanted two defenses, much less one of them in the seventh round), but they emerged with a strong team nonetheless. For the third straight year, Manning was the first QB to be drafted, and out of default more than anything. You can't fault SINS for the pick; Thomas Jones and Darren McFadden were the next best running backs still left by this pick. They then loaded up on running backs in the next three rounds, getting Knowshown Moreno and the universally disdained Larry Johnson and Jamal Lewis. Add in keeper Ray Rice, and SINS has a nice assortment of running backs who will get carries this year. The receivers are subpar beyond Anthony Gonzalez- I don't like Roy Williams that much, and Lance Moore shouldn't be more than a spot starter for anything but a desperate team. 

Celebrity doppelgänger: Henry Rollins (when he wears glasses)

6. Eat Gilberts Grapes (Brad Gilbert)

I liked Frank Gore more than any other available running back in the first round; he doesn't have a history of a backup pushing him for carries (unlike Tomlinson and Jacobs), no recent history of injuries (Westbrook), and is three years younger than Clinton Portis. He'll also benefit from what should be a better 49ers offense this year. There wasn't much at QB besides Tony Romo, but if the Cowboys have their way, he'll be passing less this season. TJ Houshmandzadeh will be 32 and entering a new system with a quarterback I do not like, but the Seahawks will be pressed to show a return on their big investment and should give him plenty of chances. Pierre Thomas is a great RB2, but I'm not sure about Willis McGahee's prospects, and it's unclear how Shonn Greene will factor into this season. EGG should be tough, but there isn't much upside.

Celebrity doppelgänger: Luke Wilson

7.  Ja (Jason Schafer)

Ja had a decent draft, especially in the later rounds. I like the move to trade away Schaub to get the top pick; even if LT is not the back he was three years ago, he was the best player on the board, and a much better running back than would have been around by pick #12. LenDale White slipped to the fourth round, and his addition should make for an adequate RB2 as long as he steals TD opportunities from Chris Johnson. Greg Jennings and Lee Evans will be solid receivers, but there is little depth; the only other receiver who could potentially start is Steve Breaston, who doesn't even start for his real team. Donald Brown comes in with a lot of hype and could start over Breaston in the flex, but it's unknown what role he will play in Indianapolis's offense early on.

Celebrity doppelgänger: Joe Girardi

8. Taking the Reins (Joe Otten)

It's hard to believe how low people were on Donovan McNabb in the middle of last season considering the turnaround he made and the lofty draft rankings affixed to him by experts- he'll anchor TTR once again this year. The receivers on this squad should be good; I really like the value Donnie Avery and Torry Holt can give out of the fifth and seventh rounds, respectively. Combined with Santana Moss and Antonio Bryant, there's no need for concern in this area. I am wary of the running game here- I don't really like Brian Westbrook (pairing him up with McNabb is a good move though), and Marshawn Lynch's suspension puts TTR on the spot for the first three weeks of the season.

Celebrity doppelgänger: Dirk Nowitzki

9. Soak-n-Suds (Joe Curtin)

Drafting a starting QB this year was going to be difficult, but going with Eli Manning is not the direction I would have gone; the Giants are built on their ground game, and the receiving corps for the G-men is non-existent. Soak-n-Suds is also plagued by a running game that is filled with backs who are being pressed by their backups for carries- Joseph Addai and Willie Parker both have highly-drafted younger players behind them, champing at the bit. The strength of this team lies in their receivers- the two starting wideouts are first-round material, but it gets thin after that.

Celebrity doppelgänger: Joe Mauer

10. Brooklyn Goldsmiths (Joshua Bolden)

The Goldsmiths entered the draft in a tough spot, picking one spot after the top five running backs were all projected to be gone (and ultimately were taken). Ronnie Brown is a reach for the first round, but the running game won't be a problem this year like it has been for previous incarnations of this team. QB is set for now with Aaron Rodgers, but watch out if he gets hurt- Brett Favre is waiting in the wings as the backup. Question marks surround the wide receiver position as well- Brandon Marshall, Chad Ochocinco, and DeSean Jackson aren't exactly three players with their heads screwed on the right way.

Celebrity doppelgänger: WSJ-featured organic farmer Felix Ballarin

11. Roarin' Rob (Rob Green)

Roarin' Rob has been a strong team in the early going in both previous seasons, but fell apart once bye weeks and injuries piled up. Is this year's team built to last? MJD is a no-brainer at RB1, but Thomas Jones, the #1 pick, is being pushed by Shonn Greene and Leon Washington for carries, and is now 31. The receivers are led by Bernard Berrian, who would be a better pick if he got points for tackling the cornerbacks who will be picking off 3-4 passes a game from Favre. The rest are veterans who have seen better days- Donald Driver and Muhsin Muhammad, who combine to be 70 years old.

Celebrity doppelgänger: Perez Hilton

12. City of Champions (John Schafer)

From Madison Square to Marcy, from the championship to the cella

r, no team took a bigger step down than CoC. I don't dislike this team's draft, at least in the later rounds, but as of right now, the lineup has a big hole at WR2 and W/R. Chris Henry is a good pick, but starting him at wideout early in the season, when he will be fighting for receptions from three other good receivers, could be a recipe for some fractional point weeks. Derrick Ward will likewise be fighting for carries in Tampa, though he is at least on paper the starter. If the cards fall in the right place for CoC, they could be tough, but too many uncertainties will likely send them out of contention.

Celebrity doppelgänger: Homer Simpson

13. Bad Newz Kennels (Mike Manos)

They may be ranked near the bottom, but BNK made strides given the total lack of keeper picks they had going into the draft. By #5 they had no choice but to take Portis, and their second round selection of Terrell Owens wasn't bad either. Roethlisberger at QB won't carry you to the playoffs, but he is durable and should have plenty of opportunities to throw TDs. Hines Ward and Jerricho Cotchery round out the receiving corps- they are both decent picks who should put up consistent, though unspectacular numbers. It's not all wine + roses for BNK, however- there is almost no depth, and bye weeks and injuries could make it tough for this team to fight for a playoff spot.

Celebrity doppelgänger: Bobby (r.) from Saturday Night Fever

14. TWSS (Mike Lorentz)

TWSS managed to push BNK out of the cellar position, if only by default. Matt Cassel was likely to start for some team in a 14-man league, but he had no business being drafted in the second round, especially when it meant passing on Matt Ryan or even Carson Palmer. The receiving corps is decent, but after Brandon Jacobs, there is no running game to be found- TWSS will probably be forced to start Darren Sproles, with no guarantee on the number of carries he might get. The selection of T.J. Duckett in the seventh round was the worst pick of this draft. TWSS will probably win more games than Manos did last year, but they won't escape being a lottery pick next year.

Celebrity doppelgänger: Dennis the Menace

Keeper Pick Analysis

Beer to the Dean

Keepers: RB Steven Jackson (1), RB Adrian Peterson (5), RB Chris Johnson (7)

Two-time regular season champ Beer Dean keeps the keys to his success in the league- a dominant running game led by AP. Without keepers, Steven Jackson may not have been a first-rounder this year, but given his first round pick was at #14 and top-tier backs will be gone by this point, it isn't a waste of value.

Grade: A

Brooklyn Goldsmiths

Keepers: RB Matt Forté (5), QB Aaron Rodgers (10), WR Brandon Marshall (12)

These picks were all about relative value- Aaron Rodgers was one of the best QBs in the league last year; retaining him for a tenth round pick was a no-brainer. Forté was the steal of the year last year on the trade market- a top-tier young running back who was drafted in the fifth round was acquired in an exceptionally shrewd trade in exchange for Chris Cooley and Kyle Orton. Brandon Marshall is the big question mark- as the big prize in the Goldsmiths' trade deadline fire sale last season, Marshall is a top tier talent, but he fell off the map the last month of the season (only four catches in the last four games), and has off-the-field issues that make picking him over QB Matt Ryan a bit of a gamble.

Grade: A-

Suit Killers

Keepers: WR Larry Fitzgerald (2), Steve Slaton (12), QB Kurt Warner (14)

Fitzgerald is the top WR in the game, so keeping him at any slot is a must. Slaton and Warner, two top-ten players going in the double-digit rounds give the Suit Killers a lot of options going into the draft. Marion Barber may have been a safer choice given Warner's age, but as long as the Cardinals "pass every down" offense holds up, these picks should serve the Suit Killers well.

Grade: A-

SINS Bolden

Keepers: WR Anthony Gonzalez (8), WR Roy Williams (10), RB Ray Rice (13)

By sticking to the later rounds, SINS Bolden has plenty of flexibility with the draft, even if none of the picks are considered elite at their position. I was really hoping Ray Rice wouldn't be protected- he is my favorite pick of this team's keepers.

Grade: B+

Megatron

Keepers: QB Tom Brady (3), WR Calvin Johnson (8), RB Michael Turner (11)

Johnson and Turner are steals, and there was no question they were coming back. Personally I would have kept Pierre Thomas over Tom Brady- I don't think Brady will be around in the third round, but I think some of the QBs who will be aren't much worse.

Grade: B

City of Champions

Keepers: Drew Brees (1), WR Anquan Boldin (3), RB DeAngelo Williams (8)

Brees and Boldin were neither reaches nor values in their respective rounds- I will be surprised if Brees is the top QB in the league again this year, but keeping him was safer than going with the thirteenth overall pick and taking your chances. Boldin is highly ranked everywhere, but I worry about the fact that he's alongside the top receiver in the game, the fact that he still wants a contract or a trade, and  the emergence of Steve Breaston. He probably would have gone in the third round, so it's not a wasted pick, but I would have rolled the dice and kept Leon Washington, a 15th rounder last year.

Grade: B

TWSS

Keepers: WR Steve Smith (5), RB Darren Sproles (10), Baltimore DEF (12)

I think Steve Smith is overrated by expert fantasy ranks, but going for him in exchange for a fifth-rounder is an easy call. Darren Sproles isn't a terrible keeper, but is going to be a really tough decision each week as long as LT is healthy, so he can only be considered a bench player at this point. Keeping any defense, even Baltimore, is questionable, but in all fairness, Lorentz had very little to work with on this team.

Grade: B

Taking the Reins

Keepers: RB Marshawn Lynch (3), QB Donovan McNabb (4), WR Santana Moss (8)

No real reaches or great value picks here- a solid start, but Taking the Reins won't be crowned pre-season champ this time around. Passing up LT is bold, but I would have done the same picking third overall. Wes Welker would have been a better pick than Santana Moss, however.

Grade: B-

Roarin' Rob

Keepers: RB Maurice Jones-Drew (2), QB Jay Cutler (3), TE Jason Witten (7)

Jones-Drew is a lock at any round, so no faulting Skittles on this one. Jay Cutler for a third rounder is a big reach- his receivers aren't what he had in Denver, and he still barely cracks the top third of starting QBs. Witten in the seventh is a fair value, but passing on Moss in the fourth makes this a middling effort.

Grade: C+

Soak-n-Suds

Keepers: WR Andre Johnson (4), RB Ryan Grant (7), K Stephen Gostkowski (10)

Johnson and Grant are good picks- both would have been long gone by the time the fourth and seventh rounds rolled around. Passing on Felix Jones or Kevin Smith are really where Joe C blew it- the fact that he kept a kicker compounds the mistake. (For the record, this is the second time a kicker was kept- last year Jo kept Mike Nugent, who scored two points all season.)

Grade: C

Ja

Keepers: QB Phil Rivers (5), WR Greg Jennings (8), QB Matt Schaub (11)

Rivers and Jennings are decent picks- neither is a steal, but both will be every-week starters at the cost of mid-round picks. Keeping Schaub over Brandon Jacobs or even LenDale White is mind boggling- Schaub is a marginal option as a starter, so he will return only minimal value in a trade, while using a keeper pick on a backup QB is as good of an idea as asking Lee Lochtefeld a question about car washes.

Grade: D+

Bad Newz Kennels

Keepers: QB Kyle Orton (10), RB Warrick Dunn (12), TE Donald Lee (13)

Still waiting for the turnaround to begin with this team. Orton isn't a terrible keep in the tenth, but I think Cassel (also a tenth) would have been the better pick. The thirteenth round is late enough that Donald Lee isn't really wasting that much, but he probably would have still been undrafted at that point. Keeping Warrick Dunn is a bold move, considering he is currently an unsigned free agent.

Grade: D

Name & Shame

Manager	Paid?
Bolden	✓
Curtin	✓
Freeman
Gilbert	✓
Green
Haubert
Jackson	✓
Lorentz
Manos
McCourt	✓
Otten	✓
Ja. Schafer
Jo. Schafer
Schaffer	✓