Saturday, November 29, 2008
Whither English syntax?
Commissioner PROTIP: Try to make your Smack Talk notes follow the proper syntax of the English language. An adjective + noun + intransitive verb doesn't ever form a sentence.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Week 12 Recap & Power Rankings
Two more weeks to go, and the playoff picture is still as incoherent as before- the top two are settled in, the number three team is doing what they can to give it up, while the final spot is totally up for grabs- 9 teams still have a shot at the post-season. Beer to the Dean emerged as the new top team, despite a subpar performance, Ja almost got doubled by SINS Bolden, and Megatron & Co. are making a late surge.
The top three players were all traded at some point this season- Michael Turner led all running backs with a 4-TD game against Carolina, while Matt Cassel and Trent Edwards (both were undrafted, signed by the Goldsmiths, and subsequently traded to Team Marketing) were the top quarterbacks. Matt Cassel continued to build up his free agent resume with another 400 yard game so some short-sighted franchise will give him the keys to the bank vault, only to find out that he may not be able to replicate his numbers in a situation where he doesn't have Randy Moss and Wes Welker.
Later today, I will be moving the archives of the Weekly Recap, the Power Rankings, The Bolden Picks, and other content to r-time.blogspot.com, so you can access it easily. I will let you know when it is launched.
Onto the power rankings- headlined by the third number one in as many weeks.
God-tier Division
1. Beer to the Dean (9-3)
A second straight trip to the playoffs is inevitable, as BD got past the Suit Killers, despite a lackluster week from everyone but Roethlisberger and the Minnesota D. With the final two games against SNS and SINS Bolden, the #1 seed could be wrapped up.
2. Suit Killers (8-4)
Lost in the matchup to BD. Tony Homo unleashed dragons, but nobody else did anything- the much vaunted running back depth failed to pay dividends, as Westbrook was (rightfully) benched and Barber, Slaton, and Ronnie Brown did very little (Derrick Ward played well, though.) This is a team on a bad spell- they've now lost a Skittles-like three of their last four after starting out 7-1, but they will assuredly be a favorite in any contest going forward.
Infuriating Contender Division
3. Ja (8-4)
So much for their time on top- SINS Bolden smoked Ja this week, thanks to the failures of anyone but Kevin Walter and Phil Rivers to do anything. Three players on Ja had zero or fewer points- even Team Marketing can win if that is the opposition.
4. The Real Schafer (7-5)
Beat Team Marketing to win their fourth game in the last five weeks. A slim point advantage gives them the tiebreaker advantage for now, but the tremendous parity in the 4th-10th teams make this a tenuous hold.
5. Rob College (7-5)
What's this? Rob is winning games in November? The Goldsmiths trail by fifty points going into MNF, so it appears that Rob has kept his playoff hopes alive- he is out of the fourth and final playoff spot by just 60+ points. The last two weeks are tough- a decent Taking the Reins (assuming McNabb is no longer starting) and the Suit Killers are the final opponents.
Pervasive Mediocrity Division (a.k.a., UD Division)
6. Megatron & Co. (6-6)
After spending most of the season hovering just above the sewage squads, Megatron & Co. are the hottest team in the league, and actually have a shot at making the playoffs. Michael Turner was the top scoring player in football this week, scoring four touchdowns against the Panthers.
7. Taking the Reins (6-6)
McNabb had the statistically worst fantasy performance of any player all season this week- 59 yards, two picks, and a fumble translated to negative point. Some otherwise decent performances were overshadowed by total lack of productivity at the QB spot. It's been up and down all season for TTR- they were my preseason pick to win the league, they played poorly through the first part of the season, won a few games to get back in contention, and now their slim hopes for a playoff spot are on life support.
8. Soak-n-Suds (6-6)
Losers of three of their last four games, it appears that SNS has played themselves out of any serious playoff contention- they boast a quarterback who probably shouldn't start in a twelve team league, two of the least dependable good players in the game (McClain and Houshmanzadeh), and now Felix Jones is officially done for the season.
9. SINS Bolden (6-6)
Thanks to TO's incredible performance against the 49ers, SINS Bolden dealt a serious blow to Ja's season and made it back to .500. Aside from Owens and the Tampa D (which had the fortune this week of playing the Lions), nothing else stood out, and for the season, only Who Dey and Team Marketing have scored fewer points.
10. Brooklyn Goldsmiths (5-7)
So much for playing the role of spoiler- though three key players (Aaron Rodgers, Donald Driver, and the inexplicably high scoring Green Bay D) go tonight, the Goldsmiths fell short in their mission to take Skittles out of the playoffs. Matt Forte had an excellent game, but for whatever reason didn't touch the ball after the first half (the fact that they were slaughtering the Rams might have had something to do with it though.) Besides Heath Miller, nobody else even saw a double-digit game. Next week it's the Suit Killers- ouch.
Brian Torpey Division
11. Who Dey (3-9)
Almost every week this team will suck, but once in a while they come out of absolutely nowhere to knock off a superior team. A great performance from Trent Edwards and the Baltimore D turned what should have been a cakewalk by SNS into a rout in the wrong direction. This team could actually finish with five wins- the final two games are against the mediocre SINS Bolden and the atrocious Team Marketing.
12. Team Marketing (1-11)
This week's loss almost assuredly gave Manos the best odds in the draft lottery. Maybe Matt Cassel will be a good keeper once he is starting for the Eagles next year? Maybe Manos will make shrewd picks and trades in the draft? Maybe your team will go from the third playoff seed one season to incredulously inept in the next?
The top three players were all traded at some point this season- Michael Turner led all running backs with a 4-TD game against Carolina, while Matt Cassel and Trent Edwards (both were undrafted, signed by the Goldsmiths, and subsequently traded to Team Marketing) were the top quarterbacks. Matt Cassel continued to build up his free agent resume with another 400 yard game so some short-sighted franchise will give him the keys to the bank vault, only to find out that he may not be able to replicate his numbers in a situation where he doesn't have Randy Moss and Wes Welker.
Later today, I will be moving the archives of the Weekly Recap, the Power Rankings, The Bolden Picks, and other content to r-time.blogspot.com, so you can access it easily. I will let you know when it is launched.
Onto the power rankings- headlined by the third number one in as many weeks.
God-tier Division
1. Beer to the Dean (9-3)
A second straight trip to the playoffs is inevitable, as BD got past the Suit Killers, despite a lackluster week from everyone but Roethlisberger and the Minnesota D. With the final two games against SNS and SINS Bolden, the #1 seed could be wrapped up.
2. Suit Killers (8-4)
Lost in the matchup to BD. Tony Homo unleashed dragons, but nobody else did anything- the much vaunted running back depth failed to pay dividends, as Westbrook was (rightfully) benched and Barber, Slaton, and Ronnie Brown did very little (Derrick Ward played well, though.) This is a team on a bad spell- they've now lost a Skittles-like three of their last four after starting out 7-1, but they will assuredly be a favorite in any contest going forward.
Infuriating Contender Division
3. Ja (8-4)
So much for their time on top- SINS Bolden smoked Ja this week, thanks to the failures of anyone but Kevin Walter and Phil Rivers to do anything. Three players on Ja had zero or fewer points- even Team Marketing can win if that is the opposition.
4. The Real Schafer (7-5)
Beat Team Marketing to win their fourth game in the last five weeks. A slim point advantage gives them the tiebreaker advantage for now, but the tremendous parity in the 4th-10th teams make this a tenuous hold.
5. Rob College (7-5)
What's this? Rob is winning games in November? The Goldsmiths trail by fifty points going into MNF, so it appears that Rob has kept his playoff hopes alive- he is out of the fourth and final playoff spot by just 60+ points. The last two weeks are tough- a decent Taking the Reins (assuming McNabb is no longer starting) and the Suit Killers are the final opponents.
Pervasive Mediocrity Division (a.k.a., UD Division)
6. Megatron & Co. (6-6)
After spending most of the season hovering just above the sewage squads, Megatron & Co. are the hottest team in the league, and actually have a shot at making the playoffs. Michael Turner was the top scoring player in football this week, scoring four touchdowns against the Panthers.
7. Taking the Reins (6-6)
McNabb had the statistically worst fantasy performance of any player all season this week- 59 yards, two picks, and a fumble translated to negative point. Some otherwise decent performances were overshadowed by total lack of productivity at the QB spot. It's been up and down all season for TTR- they were my preseason pick to win the league, they played poorly through the first part of the season, won a few games to get back in contention, and now their slim hopes for a playoff spot are on life support.
8. Soak-n-Suds (6-6)
Losers of three of their last four games, it appears that SNS has played themselves out of any serious playoff contention- they boast a quarterback who probably shouldn't start in a twelve team league, two of the least dependable good players in the game (McClain and Houshmanzadeh), and now Felix Jones is officially done for the season.
9. SINS Bolden (6-6)
Thanks to TO's incredible performance against the 49ers, SINS Bolden dealt a serious blow to Ja's season and made it back to .500. Aside from Owens and the Tampa D (which had the fortune this week of playing the Lions), nothing else stood out, and for the season, only Who Dey and Team Marketing have scored fewer points.
10. Brooklyn Goldsmiths (5-7)
So much for playing the role of spoiler- though three key players (Aaron Rodgers, Donald Driver, and the inexplicably high scoring Green Bay D) go tonight, the Goldsmiths fell short in their mission to take Skittles out of the playoffs. Matt Forte had an excellent game, but for whatever reason didn't touch the ball after the first half (the fact that they were slaughtering the Rams might have had something to do with it though.) Besides Heath Miller, nobody else even saw a double-digit game. Next week it's the Suit Killers- ouch.
Brian Torpey Division
11. Who Dey (3-9)
Almost every week this team will suck, but once in a while they come out of absolutely nowhere to knock off a superior team. A great performance from Trent Edwards and the Baltimore D turned what should have been a cakewalk by SNS into a rout in the wrong direction. This team could actually finish with five wins- the final two games are against the mediocre SINS Bolden and the atrocious Team Marketing.
12. Team Marketing (1-11)
This week's loss almost assuredly gave Manos the best odds in the draft lottery. Maybe Matt Cassel will be a good keeper once he is starting for the Eagles next year? Maybe Manos will make shrewd picks and trades in the draft? Maybe your team will go from the third playoff seed one season to incredulously inept in the next?
Monday, November 17, 2008
Power Rankings: JoJa edition
For all of you who were expecting Bolden's Power Rankings, you are in for a surprise! Bolden asked me to be the guest columnist this week, in which I was honored to be selected after Haubert declined. Manos will be emailing all my grammar mistakes soon so look out for that email!
With playoffs approaching shortly, the last playoff spot just got more interesting tonight and is still up for grabs. There are several games to be decided by the game tomorrow night, which include: The Real Schafer vs. SINS Bolden, Rob College vs. Beer to the Dean, and Suit Killers vs. Who Dey (jk).
Bolden went under .500 with his picks this week. Don't know the final figure but I know that the picks cant finish above .500.
Onto my Power Rankings (Josh's rankings follow), and the new number one team:
1. Suit Killers (8-3) (Week 11 Win)
Thanks to the pathetic performance by Ja and the dominate performance by Haubert, Suit Killers regains the number one spot in the Power Rankings and has held the spot for 9 out of the 11 weeks. After losing two straight to the JoJa Monster, Suit Killers rebounded big thanks to the strong performances by Marion Barber, Steve Slaton, and the Giants D. Also, playing the pathetic Who Dey team also helps rebounding after two losses. With only two players left to play for Who Dey, Suit Killers holds an 89 point lead. While the trade with Jackson for Wayne and Westbrook didn't add any real value to his team this week, Suit Killers looks forward to an intriguing key match-up next week against the second place team, Beer to the Dean. Prediction: Suit Killers will win again.
2. Ja (8-3) (Week 11 Loss)
Thanks to the unfavorable matchups as Josh mention in his picks on Friday, Ja struggled badly and dropped a spot in the Power Rankings. With weak performances by Rivers, Burress, and a 180 degree turn by Soak-n-Suds from prior week, Ja loses this match-up by 50 points. By making no trades, a weak bench that includes two kickers and defenses and by relying on the same players to out perform each week, this team might struggle next week against SINS Bolden and even in the playoffs.
PROTIP: Just because you were in first place doesn't mean you're the better twin.
3. Beer to the Dean (7-4 or 8-3) (Undetermined)
With just Lee Evans left for Rob College and with Beer to the Dean only up 5 points, a loss is looming for Beer to the Dean. With all except one player underperforming, Beer to the Dean took a step back this week. With Steven Jackson out and Adrian Peterson held under 100 yards, Beer to the Dean took a hit this week. If only he would have had Marvin Harrison (13pts) in instead of a questionable Earnest Graham (.3 points), Beer to the Dean would have won this match-up. With one of the strongest remaining schedules left, Beer to the Dean might end up missing the playoffs.
PROTIP: Analyze your questionable players before submitting your changes.
PROTIP: Listen to The Real Schafer.
4. The Real Schafer (6-5 or 7-4) (Week 11 Undetermined)
As Josh said last week, "against all odds, this team continues to roll." This week The Real Schafer had many favorable match-ups but with poor management of starting players, The Real Schafer is in jeopardy of losing a match-up that he should have won. While having an outstanding performance by DeAngelo Williams, Thomas Jones, and Anquan Boldin, The Real Schafer decided to start Steve Breaston (1.5 pts) at the last minute instead of Lance Moore (16pts) or Antonio Pittman (9.9pts) of whom was picked up off waivers this week. This move might define the season for this team. With SINS Bolden having only Braylon Edwards left and down only 9 points, tomorrow will be interesting! However, while a lost is looming for The Real Schafer, the trade for Reggie Bush last week and a strong bench makes this team a dangerous team going into the final three games of the season.
5. Taking the Reins (6-5) (Week 11 Loss)
Taking the Reins had a easy week last week against Team Marketing as that team is like a door knob and everyone takes a turn. With a dominating Packer performance for Bolden and with the majority of players under performing for Taking the Reins, Taking the Reins took a tough loss this week. With 9 out of 11 weeks of scoring at least 96 points, Taking the Reins is being held to only 63 points with one player left. While Bolden did predict a win for Taking the Reins due to the favorable match-ups (McNabb against Bengals, Hightower against Seahawks), the opposite occurred. This team has critical match-ups in the final two weeks against Rob College and The Real Schafer. With his low performance, The Real Schafer gains about 30 points in the points column.
Prediction: Wins next two games and faces The Real Schafer in the final week to determine the last playoff spot.
6. Rob College (7-4 or 6-5) (Week 11 Undetermined)
Down 5 pts to Beer to the Dean and with Lee Evans left to play, an upset against Beer to the Dean looks promising. With people expecting Rob to collapse as he did last year, this team is making a run for the playoffs and defining all the odds. With really only three players making up the majority of the poor performance, Rob looks to take advantage of the poor performance by Beer to the Dean and likely pulls the upset. With a likely win and a loss by Taking the Reins and a potential loss by The Real Schafer, Rob is looking at sole possession of the final playoff spot.
Prediction: He won't be able to hold off Taking the Reins or Suit Killers in the final two weeks of the season and he will miss the playoffs.
7. Soak-n-Suds (6-5) (Week 11 Win)
While this team dominated the first place team, it was not a surprise as Ja faced unfavorable match-ups. I will give this team credit for making a move by acquiring three players from The Real Schafer, but unfortunately, the trade didn't help with his performance. Garrard was held to 6 points, Muhammad to 1.6 points, and Felix Jones being ruled out. Soak-n-Suds had three players with at least 20 points which made up for the poor performance by his QB and other players. While this team still needs a QB, Soak-n-Suds will win at least two more games this year (Who Dey and Team Backups).
Without Gurrad performing well, this team wont even survive if it make the playoffs. Even if Soak-n-Suds ends up being tied for the final playoff spot pending the outcome of tomorrows game, the team is still trailing significantly in points. Doesn't look so good for Soak-n-Suds.
8. Brooklyn Goldsmiths (5-6) (Week 11 Win)
Josh most likely pulls a huge upset by beating Taking the Reins depending if Joe somehow gets 27 points from Marshawn Lynch. With Willie Parker back and great games by Rodgers, and the Packers D, coupled with bad performances by Taking the Reins, Josh wins big and shacks up the playoff picture. While Josh predicted he would lose, the opposite occurred. PROTIP: Insist that Josh predicts you to lose.
While getting close to .500, this team can only be a spoiler in the next three weeks and most likely won't finish about .500. This team looks like a contender next year with the trades he made throughout the year (Marshall) and potential keepers in Matt Ryan or Willie Parker.
9. Megatron & Co. (5-6) (Week 11 Win)
Easy and expected win for Megatron & Co. against Team Sucks. Megaton & Co gave up Westbrook and Wayne for Turner, which is paying off already (20 pts) Incase you missed Jackson's memo last week, he explained why the trade was so amazing. Glad you are happy for next year...NOT. Making a run at .500 is the only goal at this point in the season since the trade deadline is over. With three tough games left against all .500 teams, Megatron & Co. will probably not finish above .500. However, he can play the role of spoiler in the coming weeks.
PROTIP: Use players you actually trade for and not bench them (Pierre Thomas). Poor management decisions is the reason why you wont make the playoffs. Maybe you have a shot next year…. NOT.
10. SINS Bolden (4-7 or 5-6) (Week 11 Undertermined)
As Bolden stated, "this team is dominated by streaky and inconsistent players." SINS Bolden showed up this week and might pull off the upset due to the poor management decisions of The Real Schafer. With a big day from Gore as expected and Jonathan Stewart coming off the bench and sharing time with Williams, SINS Bolden is about to shock The Real Schafer and shake up the standings as he has one player left (Edwards) and down 9 points. While this team is getting closer to .500, SINS Bolden faces the other half next week, Ja, and Bear to the Dean in the last week. Don't look to get to .500 this season. As the Bengals always say, "Maybe next year."
11. Who Dey (2-9) (Week 11 Loss)
Destroyed by Suit Killers, this team is looking nearly as bad as Team Marketing at this point. However, Team Marketing just sucks and I cant move them up a spot even though Who Dey is losing by 89 points. Clinton Portis, is the only player on this team worth mentioning. Its pretty pathetic that Portis has to be on this team as he deserves better. Depending on tomorrow's game, only the kicker so far scored in double digits. This team is bad but will beat Team Marketing in the last game of the year.
12. Team Marketing (1-10) (Week 11 Loss)
I don't have anything to say about this team. Who is kidding. This team just sucks. There are so many PROTIPS that I don't know where to begin. Actually, its almost 2AM and Ill save them for another time. PROTIP: Instead of picking up QBs next year, try and get at least a star performer and not backups. Staying in last place is something Manos is just accustomed to. PROTIP: Don't even play next year. (It must suck to read these emails and hear how bad your team is.
With playoffs approaching shortly, the last playoff spot just got more interesting tonight and is still up for grabs. There are several games to be decided by the game tomorrow night, which include: The Real Schafer vs. SINS Bolden, Rob College vs. Beer to the Dean, and Suit Killers vs. Who Dey (jk).
Bolden went under .500 with his picks this week. Don't know the final figure but I know that the picks cant finish above .500.
Onto my Power Rankings (Josh's rankings follow), and the new number one team:
1. Suit Killers (8-3) (Week 11 Win)
Thanks to the pathetic performance by Ja and the dominate performance by Haubert, Suit Killers regains the number one spot in the Power Rankings and has held the spot for 9 out of the 11 weeks. After losing two straight to the JoJa Monster, Suit Killers rebounded big thanks to the strong performances by Marion Barber, Steve Slaton, and the Giants D. Also, playing the pathetic Who Dey team also helps rebounding after two losses. With only two players left to play for Who Dey, Suit Killers holds an 89 point lead. While the trade with Jackson for Wayne and Westbrook didn't add any real value to his team this week, Suit Killers looks forward to an intriguing key match-up next week against the second place team, Beer to the Dean. Prediction: Suit Killers will win again.
2. Ja (8-3) (Week 11 Loss)
Thanks to the unfavorable matchups as Josh mention in his picks on Friday, Ja struggled badly and dropped a spot in the Power Rankings. With weak performances by Rivers, Burress, and a 180 degree turn by Soak-n-Suds from prior week, Ja loses this match-up by 50 points. By making no trades, a weak bench that includes two kickers and defenses and by relying on the same players to out perform each week, this team might struggle next week against SINS Bolden and even in the playoffs.
PROTIP: Just because you were in first place doesn't mean you're the better twin.
3. Beer to the Dean (7-4 or 8-3) (Undetermined)
With just Lee Evans left for Rob College and with Beer to the Dean only up 5 points, a loss is looming for Beer to the Dean. With all except one player underperforming, Beer to the Dean took a step back this week. With Steven Jackson out and Adrian Peterson held under 100 yards, Beer to the Dean took a hit this week. If only he would have had Marvin Harrison (13pts) in instead of a questionable Earnest Graham (.3 points), Beer to the Dean would have won this match-up. With one of the strongest remaining schedules left, Beer to the Dean might end up missing the playoffs.
PROTIP: Analyze your questionable players before submitting your changes.
PROTIP: Listen to The Real Schafer.
4. The Real Schafer (6-5 or 7-4) (Week 11 Undetermined)
As Josh said last week, "against all odds, this team continues to roll." This week The Real Schafer had many favorable match-ups but with poor management of starting players, The Real Schafer is in jeopardy of losing a match-up that he should have won. While having an outstanding performance by DeAngelo Williams, Thomas Jones, and Anquan Boldin, The Real Schafer decided to start Steve Breaston (1.5 pts) at the last minute instead of Lance Moore (16pts) or Antonio Pittman (9.9pts) of whom was picked up off waivers this week. This move might define the season for this team. With SINS Bolden having only Braylon Edwards left and down only 9 points, tomorrow will be interesting! However, while a lost is looming for The Real Schafer, the trade for Reggie Bush last week and a strong bench makes this team a dangerous team going into the final three games of the season.
5. Taking the Reins (6-5) (Week 11 Loss)
Taking the Reins had a easy week last week against Team Marketing as that team is like a door knob and everyone takes a turn. With a dominating Packer performance for Bolden and with the majority of players under performing for Taking the Reins, Taking the Reins took a tough loss this week. With 9 out of 11 weeks of scoring at least 96 points, Taking the Reins is being held to only 63 points with one player left. While Bolden did predict a win for Taking the Reins due to the favorable match-ups (McNabb against Bengals, Hightower against Seahawks), the opposite occurred. This team has critical match-ups in the final two weeks against Rob College and The Real Schafer. With his low performance, The Real Schafer gains about 30 points in the points column.
Prediction: Wins next two games and faces The Real Schafer in the final week to determine the last playoff spot.
6. Rob College (7-4 or 6-5) (Week 11 Undetermined)
Down 5 pts to Beer to the Dean and with Lee Evans left to play, an upset against Beer to the Dean looks promising. With people expecting Rob to collapse as he did last year, this team is making a run for the playoffs and defining all the odds. With really only three players making up the majority of the poor performance, Rob looks to take advantage of the poor performance by Beer to the Dean and likely pulls the upset. With a likely win and a loss by Taking the Reins and a potential loss by The Real Schafer, Rob is looking at sole possession of the final playoff spot.
Prediction: He won't be able to hold off Taking the Reins or Suit Killers in the final two weeks of the season and he will miss the playoffs.
7. Soak-n-Suds (6-5) (Week 11 Win)
While this team dominated the first place team, it was not a surprise as Ja faced unfavorable match-ups. I will give this team credit for making a move by acquiring three players from The Real Schafer, but unfortunately, the trade didn't help with his performance. Garrard was held to 6 points, Muhammad to 1.6 points, and Felix Jones being ruled out. Soak-n-Suds had three players with at least 20 points which made up for the poor performance by his QB and other players. While this team still needs a QB, Soak-n-Suds will win at least two more games this year (Who Dey and Team Backups).
Without Gurrad performing well, this team wont even survive if it make the playoffs. Even if Soak-n-Suds ends up being tied for the final playoff spot pending the outcome of tomorrows game, the team is still trailing significantly in points. Doesn't look so good for Soak-n-Suds.
8. Brooklyn Goldsmiths (5-6) (Week 11 Win)
Josh most likely pulls a huge upset by beating Taking the Reins depending if Joe somehow gets 27 points from Marshawn Lynch. With Willie Parker back and great games by Rodgers, and the Packers D, coupled with bad performances by Taking the Reins, Josh wins big and shacks up the playoff picture. While Josh predicted he would lose, the opposite occurred. PROTIP: Insist that Josh predicts you to lose.
While getting close to .500, this team can only be a spoiler in the next three weeks and most likely won't finish about .500. This team looks like a contender next year with the trades he made throughout the year (Marshall) and potential keepers in Matt Ryan or Willie Parker.
9. Megatron & Co. (5-6) (Week 11 Win)
Easy and expected win for Megatron & Co. against Team Sucks. Megaton & Co gave up Westbrook and Wayne for Turner, which is paying off already (20 pts) Incase you missed Jackson's memo last week, he explained why the trade was so amazing. Glad you are happy for next year...NOT. Making a run at .500 is the only goal at this point in the season since the trade deadline is over. With three tough games left against all .500 teams, Megatron & Co. will probably not finish above .500. However, he can play the role of spoiler in the coming weeks.
PROTIP: Use players you actually trade for and not bench them (Pierre Thomas). Poor management decisions is the reason why you wont make the playoffs. Maybe you have a shot next year…. NOT.
10. SINS Bolden (4-7 or 5-6) (Week 11 Undertermined)
As Bolden stated, "this team is dominated by streaky and inconsistent players." SINS Bolden showed up this week and might pull off the upset due to the poor management decisions of The Real Schafer. With a big day from Gore as expected and Jonathan Stewart coming off the bench and sharing time with Williams, SINS Bolden is about to shock The Real Schafer and shake up the standings as he has one player left (Edwards) and down 9 points. While this team is getting closer to .500, SINS Bolden faces the other half next week, Ja, and Bear to the Dean in the last week. Don't look to get to .500 this season. As the Bengals always say, "Maybe next year."
11. Who Dey (2-9) (Week 11 Loss)
Destroyed by Suit Killers, this team is looking nearly as bad as Team Marketing at this point. However, Team Marketing just sucks and I cant move them up a spot even though Who Dey is losing by 89 points. Clinton Portis, is the only player on this team worth mentioning. Its pretty pathetic that Portis has to be on this team as he deserves better. Depending on tomorrow's game, only the kicker so far scored in double digits. This team is bad but will beat Team Marketing in the last game of the year.
12. Team Marketing (1-10) (Week 11 Loss)
I don't have anything to say about this team. Who is kidding. This team just sucks. There are so many PROTIPS that I don't know where to begin. Actually, its almost 2AM and Ill save them for another time. PROTIP: Instead of picking up QBs next year, try and get at least a star performer and not backups. Staying in last place is something Manos is just accustomed to. PROTIP: Don't even play next year. (It must suck to read these emails and hear how bad your team is.
Week 11 Recap & Power Rankings
1. Suit Killers
2. Beer to the Dean
3. Ja
4. The Real Schafer
5. Rob College
6. Taking the Reins
7. Soak-n-Suds
8. Brooklyn Goldsmiths
9. Megatron & Co.
10. SINS Bolden
11. Who Dey
12. Team Marketing
2. Beer to the Dean
3. Ja
4. The Real Schafer
5. Rob College
6. Taking the Reins
7. Soak-n-Suds
8. Brooklyn Goldsmiths
9. Megatron & Co.
10. SINS Bolden
11. Who Dey
12. Team Marketing
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
How trades are supposed to work
Haubert:
Protip: look at draft positions and draft history before down voting
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Not_even_wrong
Bolden:
Commissioner protip: [Michael Turner for Wayne, Westbrook, Buckhalter] is the kind of trade ALL of you should be making. Jackson and Haubert made the smart trade for their situations. Not all of us have the luxury of protecting Edge James in the second round.
Protip: look at draft positions and draft history before down voting
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Not_even_wrong
Bolden:
Commissioner protip: [Michael Turner for Wayne, Westbrook, Buckhalter] is the kind of trade ALL of you should be making. Jackson and Haubert made the smart trade for their situations. Not all of us have the luxury of protecting Edge James in the second round.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Week 10 Recap & Power Rankings
I didn't wake up until 2pm on Sunday, so I wasn't able to follow the games as closely as usual. Around our league, the playoff picture is pretty clear- Suit Killers, Ja, and BD have command of the top three, while Taking the Reins, Rob College, and The Real Schafer are tied for the final spot, with Taking the Reins holding a big point advantage. Soak-n-Suds is on life support at 5-5; the rest are sure-fire lottery teams.
Remember, the trade deadline is this Friday- if you are a bubble team, you can't expect your current lineups to get you over the hump (I'm looking at you, Soak-N-Suds and Rob College.) My roster is still available, except for Aaron Rodgers and Brandon Marshall. This means Willie Parker, Donald Driver, and even Matt Forte could be yours if you have something I want.
Unlike last week, all the games should be decided now- Haubert trails Ja by 48 points and would need an epic game from Warner and Fitzgerald to hold on.
Onto the Power Rankings, and the new number one team:
1. Ja (8-2)
Thanks to Brandon Jacobs and the Jets defense, Ja has unseated Haubert to claim the top spot on the Power Rankings- it's the first time since Week 2, when Jackson somewhat inexplicably was my top-ranked team, that someone else was ranked #1. Ja has a good team, but the bench is abysmal (a backup kicker, a backup defense, and Matt Schaub?) One more win could clinch a playoff spot.
2. Suit Killers (7-3)
Barring an unparalleled number of dragons being unleashed tonight by Kurt Warner, the Suit Killers will have dropped two straight- both to Joja . It was a bad week all around for the best roster in the league; even stalwart Steve Slaton had a terrible game, earning just 24 all-purpose yards. Three other players scored in the single digits. The Suit Killers will get back on track next week when they play Who Dey.
3. Beer to the Dean (7-3)
Another 100+ point game thanks to a dominant rushing game, even with Chris Johnson shut down and Steven Jackson inactive. The waiver-wire steal of Mewelde Moore was sharp- he added 22 points this week and could have been claimed by any other team in the league. How someone like Moore can clear waivers in a league where several teams have backup defenses, kickers, and tight ends simply baffles me.
4. Taking the Reins (6-4)
A lot of variability in the scoring from this week's win against Team Marketing- McNabb and McGahee scored over 20 points each, while three players had less than five. TTR is tied with two others for the fourth playoff spot, but has almost a 90 point advantage over the others in the tie-breaking decider.
5. The Real Schafer (6-4)
Against all odds, this team continues to roll; this week, four players had over 20 points, including the week's top scorer, Thomas Jones. Despite my doubts, this team is pretty good- their next three games are against losing teams, so they could easily have eight wins going into the last week of the regular season against Taking the Reins.
6. Rob College (6-4)
Skittles finally won another game- albeit against Who Dey, and despite the fact that Skittles once again failed to adjust his lineup before the game, as he started both Jason Witten and Nick Folk, who were on a bye week. Skittles won the game, but missed out on adding to his point total - something a team on the playoff bubble desperately needs, and incurred the wrath of this commissioner in the process.
7. Soak-n-Suds (5-5)
I liked this team's playoff chances after the trade with the Goldsmiths, but they are treading water right now, losing this week to The Real Schafer. If this team is going to move back into the playoff race, they desperately need to acquire a legitimate starting quarterback before the deadline on Friday- Marc Bulger scored a fraction of a point this week, while Derek Anderson and Gus Frerrote are not viable options.
8. Megatron & Co. (4-6)
Not a pretty win, and they were outscored by every other winning team this week and had five starters score under five points. A mediocre team, but one that would be a tough opponent and could be a spoiler.
9. Brooklyn Goldsmiths (4-6)
A decent effort- 95 points could have beat a handful of teams this week, but wasn't close to toppling Beer Dean. Aaron Rodgers had one of his worst games of the season, and Rashied Davis, Robert Royal, and Donald Driver decided to do the same. If Willie Parker ever comes back, this team could spoil someone else's season, as they close out the final four games all against .500 or better teams.
10. SINS Bolden (4-6)
It's bad when teams have a handful of players scoring single digit point totals; this week, SINS Bolden had four starters with less than THREE points. This team is dominated by streaky and inconsistent players- Bret Favre, Braylon Edwards, Ray Rice, Anthony Gonzalez...
11. Who Dey (2-8)
Destroyed by a half-assed Rob College squad, this team is looking nearly as bad as Team Marketing at this point. Tony Gonzalez was the only skill player to come close to double digits, and besides Clinton Portis, is the only player on this team who may hold value to a contender.
12. Team Marketing (1-9)
Waiting for the Week 14 matchup against Who Dey to claim the title of "not as bad at this as Brian Torpey."
Remember, the trade deadline is this Friday- if you are a bubble team, you can't expect your current lineups to get you over the hump (I'm looking at you, Soak-N-Suds and Rob College.) My roster is still available, except for Aaron Rodgers and Brandon Marshall. This means Willie Parker, Donald Driver, and even Matt Forte could be yours if you have something I want.
Unlike last week, all the games should be decided now- Haubert trails Ja by 48 points and would need an epic game from Warner and Fitzgerald to hold on.
Onto the Power Rankings, and the new number one team:
1. Ja (8-2)
Thanks to Brandon Jacobs and the Jets defense, Ja has unseated Haubert to claim the top spot on the Power Rankings- it's the first time since Week 2, when Jackson somewhat inexplicably was my top-ranked team, that someone else was ranked #1. Ja has a good team, but the bench is abysmal (a backup kicker, a backup defense, and Matt Schaub?) One more win could clinch a playoff spot.
2. Suit Killers (7-3)
Barring an unparalleled number of dragons being unleashed tonight by Kurt Warner, the Suit Killers will have dropped two straight- both to Joja . It was a bad week all around for the best roster in the league; even stalwart Steve Slaton had a terrible game, earning just 24 all-purpose yards. Three other players scored in the single digits. The Suit Killers will get back on track next week when they play Who Dey.
3. Beer to the Dean (7-3)
Another 100+ point game thanks to a dominant rushing game, even with Chris Johnson shut down and Steven Jackson inactive. The waiver-wire steal of Mewelde Moore was sharp- he added 22 points this week and could have been claimed by any other team in the league. How someone like Moore can clear waivers in a league where several teams have backup defenses, kickers, and tight ends simply baffles me.
4. Taking the Reins (6-4)
A lot of variability in the scoring from this week's win against Team Marketing- McNabb and McGahee scored over 20 points each, while three players had less than five. TTR is tied with two others for the fourth playoff spot, but has almost a 90 point advantage over the others in the tie-breaking decider.
5. The Real Schafer (6-4)
Against all odds, this team continues to roll; this week, four players had over 20 points, including the week's top scorer, Thomas Jones. Despite my doubts, this team is pretty good- their next three games are against losing teams, so they could easily have eight wins going into the last week of the regular season against Taking the Reins.
6. Rob College (6-4)
Skittles finally won another game- albeit against Who Dey, and despite the fact that Skittles once again failed to adjust his lineup before the game, as he started both Jason Witten and Nick Folk, who were on a bye week. Skittles won the game, but missed out on adding to his point total - something a team on the playoff bubble desperately needs, and incurred the wrath of this commissioner in the process.
7. Soak-n-Suds (5-5)
I liked this team's playoff chances after the trade with the Goldsmiths, but they are treading water right now, losing this week to The Real Schafer. If this team is going to move back into the playoff race, they desperately need to acquire a legitimate starting quarterback before the deadline on Friday- Marc Bulger scored a fraction of a point this week, while Derek Anderson and Gus Frerrote are not viable options.
8. Megatron & Co. (4-6)
Not a pretty win, and they were outscored by every other winning team this week and had five starters score under five points. A mediocre team, but one that would be a tough opponent and could be a spoiler.
9. Brooklyn Goldsmiths (4-6)
A decent effort- 95 points could have beat a handful of teams this week, but wasn't close to toppling Beer Dean. Aaron Rodgers had one of his worst games of the season, and Rashied Davis, Robert Royal, and Donald Driver decided to do the same. If Willie Parker ever comes back, this team could spoil someone else's season, as they close out the final four games all against .500 or better teams.
10. SINS Bolden (4-6)
It's bad when teams have a handful of players scoring single digit point totals; this week, SINS Bolden had four starters with less than THREE points. This team is dominated by streaky and inconsistent players- Bret Favre, Braylon Edwards, Ray Rice, Anthony Gonzalez...
11. Who Dey (2-8)
Destroyed by a half-assed Rob College squad, this team is looking nearly as bad as Team Marketing at this point. Tony Gonzalez was the only skill player to come close to double digits, and besides Clinton Portis, is the only player on this team who may hold value to a contender.
12. Team Marketing (1-9)
Waiting for the Week 14 matchup against Who Dey to claim the title of "not as bad at this as Brian Torpey."
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
ALDI
Protip: searching through a dozen unmarked cardboard boxes to find the kind of Corn Flakes I want isn't worth saving $1.50
Week 9 Recap & Power Rankings
I'm swamped with school work and election things right now, so the full write up will come later tonight when I can relax with the thought of President-Elect B. Hussein Obama. Here is the super-succinct version of the Power Rankings:
1. Suit Killers (7-2)
2. Ja (7-2)
3. Beer to the Dean (6-3)
4. Taking the Reins (5-4)
5. Soak-n-Suds (5-4)
6. The Real Schafer (5-4)
7. Rob College (5-4)
8. Brooklyn Goldsmiths (4-5)
9. Megatron & Co. (3-6)
10. SINS Bolden (4-5)
11. Who Dey (2-7)
12. Team Marketing (1-8)
1. Suit Killers (7-2)
2. Ja (7-2)
3. Beer to the Dean (6-3)
4. Taking the Reins (5-4)
5. Soak-n-Suds (5-4)
6. The Real Schafer (5-4)
7. Rob College (5-4)
8. Brooklyn Goldsmiths (4-5)
9. Megatron & Co. (3-6)
10. SINS Bolden (4-5)
11. Who Dey (2-7)
12. Team Marketing (1-8)
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