Week 1 Recap & Power Rankings

Week one is nearly over. Only one matchup is really dependent on tonight's games. The big story of course was Tom Brady getting Von Oelhoffened by the Chiefs and handing the reins over to Matt Cassel, the newest Brooklyn Goldsmith (and available for trade for the right offer.) Another interesting transaction came when the Jo half of Joja made his team even older by adding the curiously unretired Michael Pittman to his roster. In other league news, most of you have paid your dues but some are still deadbeats. Get to it. Finally, I present you with Week 1 of my subjective power rankings.

#1 - Suit Killers (Haubert) 1-0
Willis McGahee sat out on Sunday, but the Suit Killers still won with a dominating running game led by Michael Turner. The deepest team at this point.

#2 - Brooklyn Goldsmiths (Bolden) 1-0
Same as last year's recipe for a championship- a deep pool of good players, no reliance on superstars. Willie Parker's incredible game made up for shit performances from Kenny Watson, Chris Cooley, and Santonio Holmes.

#3- Soak-N-Suds (Joe C) 1-0
Good all-around performance. Reggie Bush seemed like a reach in the second round, but he played like he deserved it this week.

#4 - Witty Team Name (Jackson) 0-0
Almost everyone played in line with expectations. Should be able to edge out a victory in the Monday night games tonight.

#5 - Taking the Reins (Otten) 0-0
A huge game from Donovan McNabb made up for subpar performances from other good players. Has to make sure Darren McFadden, Ryan Grant, and Minnesota's D don't combine for 20 points in order to prevent a loss, however.

#6- Ja (Ja) 1-0
Solid efforts all around, this team will be much better than the condition Bullinger left it in.

#7- Beer to the Dean (Peter) 0-1
Slaughtered by Haubert in Week One, but anyone else would have fared the same. A pair of Rams in key offensive spots did nothing to help, with Torry Holt and Steven Jackson combining for less than ten points. This team is better than this though, and will likely challenge to be first runner-up once again.

#8 - SINS Bolden (Terrence) 0-1
Frank Gore might have a comeback year, but it could be Braylon Edwards' turn to shit the bed on TJ this year.

#9 - The Real Schafer (Jo) 1-0
The lowest ranked team that won, because this is not a very good team. Marvin Harrison, Joey Galloway, Edgerrin James, and Donald Driver would have been an epic fantasy team...back when most of us were in early high school. They beat up on the hapless Team Marketing, however, and a win is a win.

#10 - Rob College (Skiddles) 0-1
Skiddles stunned us all last year when his second-rate team started out 9-0 before a Cubs-like collapse that left them out of the playoff picture. And Randy Moss looks a lot less attractive than he did last year.

#11 - Who Dey (Quinn) 0-1
Your team has problems when it is centered on Carson Palmer, who looked like David Klingler against the Ravens on Sunday.

#12 - Team Marketing (Manos) 0-1
Will the Pats sign Daunte Culpepper out of retirement? Will Matt Cassel unleash the fucking dragon and go 18-1*? Will Manos win more than four games?