Week 4 Recap & Power Rankings

Another week, another round of losers getting worse and questionable trades. Thanks to the performances of the Mets, Brewers, Bengals, and pretty much everyone on my team, yesterday was one of the worst sports days I've had in a few years. Earlier in the week, Dwayne Bowe joined the Goldsmiths in a controversial trade with Manos, to add yet another QB to his flock- with the firing of his spiritual role model Matt Millen last week, it remains to be seen if Manos will continue to employ his strategy of stockpiling players at one position. The other trade, initiated last night, would send the possibly injured/possibly not Anquan Boldin and the deceptively good Muhsin Muhammad for a pair of wide receivers drafted in the twentieth century, one of whom played for the Los Angeles Rams. Never underestimate what desperation and the desire to pull off a dick-move trade out of the Jim Bowden playbook can do to a person.

I guess Brett Favre goes down as this week's MVP- that disingenuous hick threw 6 TDs to lead TJ to a blow-out win over my team. Larry Johnson came to life as well, as his performance was enough for Skiddles to "squeeze out" a victory over Curtin's struggling team. I am personally pushing for someone with a dire situation at QB to make a trade for Dave Krieg, Jr., better known as Kurt Warner. His performances are too fun to not have him start for a team in the league- 472 yards (on 57 passing attempts!), 2 touchdowns, three interceptions, and three fumbles lost. Monday night's game will decide just one contest in our league- Quinn should beat Jackson barring huge games from Santonio Holmes and Ray Rice. Onto the power rankings:

1. Suit Killers (Haubert), 3-1
Chad Johnson finally caught a touchdown, but the big winner for the SK sat on the bench this week- Laveranues Coles. Steve Slaton is the weakest starter on paper, and even he added 17 points. The team to beat.

2. Ja, 3-1
Lost to his brother, but had Plaxico Burress and Brandon Jacobs on the bench. Looks a lot more like the championship team from last year than Torpey's wrong-Adiran Peterson shitpile it descended from.

3. SINS Bolden (TJ), 3-1
Resounding win against the Goldsmiths, thanks to Brett Favre, TO, and Frank Gore. A good team, but they depend heavily on their top three and lack the depth of other teams.

4. Rob College (Skiddles), 3-1
Larry Johnson and Jay Cutler helped him get by a mediocre opponent; I'm still not sold on this team.

5. Beer to the Dean (Schaffer), 2-2
Climbing back to respectability after more than doubling his hapless opponent, Team Marketing. Adrian Peterson looks healthy, Steven Jackson looks like he is not trying to be this year's Frank Gore, and Chris Johnson would be the best running back on some teams (like yours truly.)

6. Taking the Reins (Otten), 2-2
Decent performances, and LT finally had a big game, but not enough to slip by the Suit Killers. Still a team to watch, and probably talented enough to be top three by the end of the season.

7. Soak-n-Suds (Curtin), 2-2
They have my vote for "Team most likely to trade for Kurt Warner".

8. Megatron (Jackson), 1-3
Better than their record indicates- Manning, Wayne, and Calvin Johnson had byes while Westbrook sat out with an injury. On paper, the second best team in the league, but 1-3 is 1-3.

9. Goldsmiths (Bolden), 1-3
Everybody panic. Rodgers threw three picks, Ryan Grant was the worst fantasy performer of the week- had I put in someone on a bye week, I would have done better than his negative contribution. TJ Houshmazadeh had the misfortune of playing catch with an Ivy Leaguer, but that still doesn't excuse his performance thus far. Willie Parker's return will help, as will Maroney if he ever stops dicking around and plays up to his performance, but trading Boldin is a risky move if he turns out to be alright. Rashard Mendenall goes tonight- it could be interesting to see how he plays, as this team slowly begins thinking about next season.

10. The Real Schafer (Jo), 2-2
Beat his brother's depleted squad (not an innuendo.) If Boldin is healthy, this could be a much better team, and clearing off two 30+ receivers is a step in the right direction.

11. Who Dey (Quinn), 2-2
Should Matt Ryan start in place of Carson Palmer once he comes back? Chris Perry could be headed for the bench on the Bengals, and Who Dey doesn't have much in the way of a bench to replace him. Give it a few more weeks, but this team should be part of a fire sale by the trade deadline.

12. Team Marketing (Manos), 0-4
For Team Marketing President and CEO Mike Manos, success in the Rapetime Football League is simple: "The team that wins the Championship is successful and the other 11 teams are not."

Be creative with your trade offers- I am in the mood to make some deals. If you're in the bottom tier, you need to be getting on this too- your teams won't get better overnight, and never underestimate what some people will give up for a name player.