Week 5 Recap & Power Rankings

Trivia time. What NFL quarterback, through the first five weeks of the season, has thrown for nearly 1,500 yards, 10 TDs, and 4 interceptions? If you guessed Carson Palmer, Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, or Eli Manning, you should be relegated from this league for your Brian Torpeyesque knowledge of the league. The answer is Kurt Warner, who languishes on the Suit Killers bench. If my own QB wasn't a deep value pick, I would be all over Warner, who is pretty much made for the fantasy game- his stats this year are nearly identical to Jay Cutler.

No big surprises around our league this week- decent matchups, but the better team typically came out on top. The haves are slowly pulling away from the have nots, and both JoJa teams are the only surprising teams currently in the playoff picture, while yours truly and Jackson struggle for respectability.

Onto the power rankings:

1. Suit Killers, 4-1 (Haubert)
Still the undisputed best team in the league. Any one of the five running backs on this team are better than any on a handful of teams- including mine. The only weak point continues to be Chad Johnson, the leading candidate for fantasy bust of the year. Ocho Stinko has fewer receptions and yards than his teammate Antonio Chatman. If that isn't enough, Tyler Thigpen has more fantasy points right now. An epic trade involving Romo or Warner for a top receiver could propel this team to unbeatable status.

2. Rob College, 4-1 (Skittles)
http://i36.tinypic.com/dfbuqd.jpg

3. Ja, 4-1
Destroyed Taking the Reins, thanks to the Seahawks' sieve-like defense allowing Brandon Jacobs to score two touchdowns. This team has been fortunate to have some huge performances from its best players, but is very top heavy- four players in the lineup this week scored fewer than five points.

4. Beer to the Dean, 3-2 (Peter)
Finally coming to life. Should go to 3-2 after tonight's game. Defense decided the matchup against Jackson, however- Carolina's D put up 19 points to seal the victory. Deeper than the two teams higher in the standings, but inconsistent.

5. SINS Bolden, 3-2 (TJ)
Could have gone to 4-1 this week, but Anthony Gonzalez and John Carlson combined for 0.3 points, and as a result, lost to Skittles by seven.

6. The Real Schafer, 3-2 (Jo)
Inexplicably continues to win. DeAngelo Williams was the star this week, adding 32 points. The latest news on Anquan Boldin has him out indefinitely; this is a crucial variable in how good this team really is.

7. Brooklyn Goldsmiths, 2-3 (Bolden)
At long last, win #2. TJ Houshmanzadeh had a breakout game, Aaron Rodgers went from questionable 90 minutes before the game to a 300 yard game against Atlanta, and even Ryan Grant made it into positive territory this week. Until Willie Parker decides to finally come back, this team is a pretender. The pickup of Kyle Orton looks good if Rodgers aggravates his injury.

8. Soak-n-Suds, 2-3 (Joe C)
Ran into the unstoppable force that is the Suit Killers. In all fairness, Soak-n-Suds played well enough to win, and has the talent to turn their season around.

9. Taking the Reins, 2-3 (Otten)
Only Larry Fitzgerald scored double digit points this week; until McNabb and LT being playing consistently (unless in their advanced ages this _is_ how they play), this team will struggle like they did to Ja in Week 5.

10. Megatron & Co., 1-4 (Jackson)
Peyton Manning finally played well and Brian Westbrook is back, but it wasn't enough to avoid becoming the only 1-4 team in the league. Injuries have hurt this team, but they should have been better than this. The Todd Heap pickup isn't bad, despite his lack of production so far (no TE has done much consistently this season aside from Jason Witten.) Next week they take on the Goldsmiths in the battle of the underachievers.

11. Who Dey, 2-3 (Quinn)
COMMISSIONER PROTIP: Don't start a kicker who is on a bye, especially when you have two kickers on the roster.

12. Team Marketing, 0-5 (Manos)
How bad is this team? Their average margin of loss this season is 44 points. Four starters on the team earned ZERO points.

Remember, if your team is struggling, somebody always needs a starter at a position in which you have depth. If you're hopelessly out of the playoff picture, remember it's a keeper league- build your teams for next year.